Burgers

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lirvilas
1st Dec 2015, 10:00 PM

dear god where do these strips come from

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Stever
1st Dec 2015, 10:11 PM

They come from minnaSOtah XD

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lirvilas
2nd Dec 2015, 5:29 AM

You know what I'm talking aboot!

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jamie59
1st Dec 2015, 10:21 PM

Don't think that's cow.

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lirvilas
2nd Dec 2015, 9:22 AM

It probably wasn't on the occasion when Chuck got this "idea".

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MadJak91
1st Dec 2015, 10:52 PM

Yeah... Sounds just like Chuck's idea :D
Also... BURGERS!!!
(I find this so hilariously in character!)

This reminds me of that one James Bond movie where the villain gets under the vehicle that throws up snow which I cannot name in English.
It totally rips him apart which I do not think is possible :D

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anonymous coward
2nd Dec 2015, 9:47 AM

You mean a snowblower/snowplow?

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lirvilas
2nd Dec 2015, 10:05 AM

MJ's talking about the screw attachment that grinds up snow and projects it into the ditch... a snow blower.

Ah, here it is at 1:12, a classic moment in film!

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Travis
2nd Dec 2015, 1:33 AM

Even after reading this, I'm thinking... I don't know, it might work.

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lirvilas
2nd Dec 2015, 9:21 AM

DO NOT.
TRY THIS.
AT HOME.

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ProfEtheric
2nd Dec 2015, 1:59 AM

Another fine example of lirvilas brand, grade-A psycho brilliance.

I half suspect you were thinking of a prowler lurking, perhaps in long-forgotten (or wished to be forgotten) volumes of violent, pulpy lore, and what punishment you might want to inflict...

Seriously, though. Good page.

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lirvilas
2nd Dec 2015, 10:00 AM

[redacted]

I tried to explain how I put these things together and failed miserably. My creative process is unfortunately pretty instinctive, though the dialogue is more of a mechanical, iterative process. Also, 50-75% of my ideas don't make the cut... not every idea is funny and I think most comedy producers don't understand the Darwinian sifting and winnowing that must occur to produce laughter.

TLDR: feeding ANYTHING into a chipper/shredder is goddamn hilarious.

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ProfEtheric
2nd Dec 2015, 11:25 AM

I concur on all points. For a good item vs. wood chipper, see Bones, Season 1, Episode 14 , "The Man on the Fairway".

EDIT: Also, I was referring to me, lurking in your archives enough to cause you to tell me to get out... in capital letters... and how you might want to feed someone commenting on old comics into something industrial...

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lirvilas
2nd Dec 2015, 11:39 AM

If I did the whole TV Tropes thing, I'm sure there's one for chopping up the body. Defiling corpses is a time-honoured practice.

As for your trespasses: I say let the dead lie where they fall, troubled not by after-the-fact analysis or obfuscations. Some of that stuff is terrible, some of it worse than terrible, and yet you'll never hear me waving the "R" word around because I have no mighty plot to weave, just the petty tribulations of a pitiful little band trying to survive...

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sigpig
2nd Dec 2015, 3:55 AM

I remember either reading/watching something very close to this in the past. But it didn't have the hilarity that this comic has. Also, I think that there was a "CSI" (not sure WHAT CSI it was) where a restaurant tried to cover over the death of the Chef by feeding his tissues through a meat grinder. It didn't work...

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lirvilas
2nd Dec 2015, 5:31 AM

Already have the obvious and primary call-out integrated into the page, but I've seen an episode or two of Bones that looks kinda like this too.

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Call Me Tom
2nd Dec 2015, 4:02 AM

This spot reserved for whity comment by Call Me TOM.

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lirvilas
2nd Dec 2015, 10:08 AM

This webcomic reserves the future witty use of the Boogeyman by lirvilas!

(I'm thinking "new employee day" or "performance appraisal time".)

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anonymous coward
2nd Dec 2015, 10:21 AM

Eh, you're just not doing it right. You folks need to go ask some lumberjacks to fix your incompetence: The most important parts are that you need to put a collection bag on the vent first and clean everything thoroughly with rubbing alcohol when you're done. (Hydrogen peroxide may also work, and is more likely to work on stubborn blood stains, but it tends to speed rusting so avoid using it.)
The bag's gotta be pretty big, and have a hole in it that air can come out, far from where the meatspray trajectory goes so that most of the air coming out has no spray left in it. Depending on the chipper, this may only give you a chunky meat-spray with chunks that are too big at first. In that case you sift out the big chunks and run them through the chipper again, repeatedly as needed.
What you're left with when you've done it right is thoroughly-pulverized meatgoo with maybe a few small bits in it, which is something you could get if you instead used a powerful blender. The reasons to use the chipper is the motor's less likely to die on you, if you're using large quantities for something like a soup kitchen, or trying to make lots of frozen packages of meatgoo out of butchered corpses that won't fit in the freezer.
Frozen meatgoo is a useful ingredient for sauces, soups, and augmenting ramen or mac & cheese into something survivable. Making little baggies of it to stuff in the corners and gaps is a good way to fit more meat in a freezer that's already full of butchered animal chunks. Unless folks specifically request it you're best off getting rid of your excess meatgoo by donating it to university students who absolutely need the stuff to be able to survive their ramen-diet poverty, if you know some that aren't vegan/vegetarian.

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VanEzzania
22nd Dec 2015, 1:26 PM

"Fargo Tree Removal" Nice ref.

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